This is my spaceship of little weirdness

Alright, 'tis 8:46pm on a very rainy day.

 

I personally love the rain, but I realize that what we have now with it's thunder and it's lightening is not something one should take their fourteen year old brother and small dog out in. Thus, I sit at my laptop having just finished it's total overhaul (like serious partition changes and whatnot) and have only a few things left to reinstall. I'm not really worried about that right now. I'm actually just concerned about eating.

 

We were supposed to head on down to the lake with a posse (yes, I said posse) to take in the fireworks and bask in the lack of lonlieness that accompanies these sorts of festivities. I was truly looking forward to it. But than the rain came and it brought it's fury. I don't mind it, but the dog is afraid and my brother can't be inside longer than twenty minutes without developing cabin fever. He's dealing well though, propped in front of the family computer, busying himself with his social networking and the like.

 

8:51pm. Just twenty minutes left before pizza. Unless it's (god forbid) late, in which case at least it will be free.

 

I swear I might starve to death before it arrives. I may or may not iss the delvery guy (most likely not) when he gets here. I know for certain I will dance breifly before stuffing my face.

 

8:53pm. Eighteen minutes left. Don't judge me, I'm hungry. Thirsty too. My brother and his crew of demon troublemakers finished every last drop of beverage in the house. They must be punished.

 

So, maybe I've begun a slow decent into madness, but I could not care less. I've grown fidgety. It's against my nature to stay so still. I'm bored. How I hate that line, but it applies here and it's the honest truth.

 

I could play a videogame, watch TV, read some more of Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides (Author of The Virgin Suicides in case you feel the name sounds familiar - so far, it's a great read), or a variety of other.....

 

9:00pm. Pizza's here!

 

Nice guy, smells good, but they messed up the bottles of drink we asked for. Gave us diet instead of regular Pepsi. I told him about it. Says he'll be back with the right stuff. Again, nice fellow. I'm out, it's time to eat!

So, today happens to be my mom's six year anniversary for dating her boyfriend and I was totally not informed. Normally that would be fine except I had gone out of my way to buy salmon and prepare a nice meal plus pick up a bottle of Bailey's which I am now drinking by myself. Whatever, so long as she doesn't come home upset because they've had another fight. I ate everything myself and fed the left overs to the dog anyway.... save the rice of course. Now I'm waiting for a friend to show so the two of us can do nothing until ten and than maybe take off if I can get the all clear from mummy dearest.

 

So, I had a good night last night to say the least. Not that I ever went to bed so the night ran well into the morning hours, but who cares if I had a good time, right?

 

Started with the shift finally ending and my boss and I had a beer to celebrate a weekend of excellant sales. During said drinking I took two shots of vodka and was proudly not affected by them. He dropped me off at the coffee shop where I met up with Jacob and Ali who are just an all around blast to hang out with. I love talking with them, seriously. Even when I got home I was caught up texting Winston and his friend and than chatting a way on MSN. That was especially cool because it has been like forever since I chatted in real time with Tom. Facebook so does not count.

 

Time to top up the drink...

 

Okay, so I've noticed what seems to be some level of depression amoungst a few old friends and have made it my own personal mission to help them get over their issues. They better just accept it, because friends meddle. It's just what we do. Not unlike the number of folks who've tried to set me up with various friends and family members of theirs...

 

Also, my ex is going to be coming back to visit soon and even though I've been bold faced denying it to my family, I am not looking forward to it. Man, I miss the days when breaking up meant it was over. I told him I'd never be in another relationship and he didn't believe me, but I'll certainly be right if he starts hanging around again. I mean, who brings home a new boyfriend to meet their ex? It's just not done.

 

Moving on to a less troublesome topic, I've been reading a lot more. Specifically this terrible series called Privacy by Kate Brian. Of course, once I start something I can't be stopped and therefore have now purchased all the books in the series thus far (whaterver, they're cheap) and I can say they are all poorly written. Not only that, but the details change from book to book. Examples include Hule Hall being called Hull Hall (nicknamed Hell Hall) and the main character stealing a test for another girl. In the book it happened in, the test was for Kiran, but when later mentioned it's said to have been for Ariana.

 

Basically, it's a bad series and she can't even force it to make sense... which is really sad because these books are so primitive in the sense that I can sit down and read two or three in one sitting. No thought required. Bah, what could I have expected from girly teen novels...

 

She's given me hope though, because I know I can write better than that and so can Jia which essentially tells me that some day we can churn out one horrid piece of reading material after another and still find success in life. Isn't that inspiring and beautiful? My crack stories make more sense than her writing....

 

Now I just need a nifty author's alias so people won't know who is behind the wretched writings I intend to produce.... *insert echoing evil laughter here*

 

Later loves!  

Despite that the weather was so windy that it was difficult to walk, I'm glad I got out of the house.

 

When I woke this morning I found that I had no power, by lunch it was back and I can only assume it to be the fault of the weather. Though, for a while I wondered if it was some kind of insane April Fool's Day prank. It came back just as Jacob arrived and we sat around for a considerable length of time, just talking about whatever... Typical of most of my time spent with Jacob. As per usual, we couldn't stand to sit around for long and once my brother was home from school, we took off to our preferred coffee shop.

 

As we passed through a parking lot along the way I encountered an old friend. Melissa. I haven't seen her since elementary school. How strange it was to spot her. That moment of doubt concerning whether or not it was really her. Of course it was. We hugged and exchanged numbers. I foundout she actually just lives up the street from me now... with her boyfriend son. Her son turns a year old tomorrow. I'm wondering if it might be weird for me to get him a small gift. I'm still trying to figure out what I should do, but either way, I'll be keeping in touch. Hopefully.

 

Never have I felt so old as when Jacob and I finally reached the coffee shop. We sat and talked about school like it was years ago. We discussed friends who'd had or are having children and the misbehaviour of the kids in another store we eventually wandered into.

 

On the upside, I noticed a few job openings and I'm hoping something comes of that. The club really just isn't enough money for me. I need to get shit together so I can move out finally.

 

At any rate, perhaps today was a sign that I should just let go of everyone that hasn't kept in touch. If we were meant to stay friends then I'll run into them another day and we'll talk about the time that has passed. Either way, I'm only stressing myself out by trying to force myself to keep contact. It's likely I'll be happier if I just let things be.

 

Well, that's all I've got. I have to start supper and maybe I'll burn up some time playing Crisis Coreor grab a beer and cheer to the old times and memories of days that seem far too long ago.

Katie

So, I updated my stupid space and decided it was time to really - and I mean really - fix it up. As we speak I'm trying to upload a video to Google videos which I'll post here later. It won't really interest anyone, but maybe one of my old friends will stumble across it some day and realize it's aboutdamn time they try and contact me again. I haven't talked to some of them in so long that they don't even know I have a new cell phone number (I've had a different number since last summer when I lost the old phone...). Admittedly, I have a new home number too now, but really, is it so hard to email me?

 

I sent Sarah a email just yesterday - or was it the day before? - with my new numbers. That's all the effort I intend to make. If I don't hear from anyone else before the week is through, I'm giving up. It obviously wasn't meant to be. I mean, I get it. They have school and employment. I work too, but even I manage to call and chat with people. Hell, I make a weekly trip to the coffee shop to meet a friend for coffee (Jacob, Winston, you'll never know how much those stupid nights mean to me even if they accomplish nothing). When Jia journeys back from Hamilton, I make sure I get to see her at least once for the weekend she spends here. Jamie has been more preoccupied with her boyfriend, so I just kind of let go. Sometimes you just know that it's for the best to give people their space. She might not even come home this summer.

 

Truly, I surrender. Over the last year or so I noticed exactly how different things are from the good old days. I didn't even know Ashley had gone to Ireland and I had to find out that she was engaged through my Mom who ran into Ellen (also now engaged) while at the mall. Seriously people. Anyway, I've accepted that I'm not a part of their lives anymore. Dealt with it even, but when it comes right down to it. I can count all my friends on one hand. If youwant to know if you are one of said friends, ask yourself the following questions:

 

1. What's my new cellphone number?

2. Which of my family members is sick?

3. What's wrong with above mentioned family member?

 

If you couldn't answer those three simple questions, I can't really say your a friend anymore. Especially since the last two answers are pretty much posted everywhere.

 

I spent a while after work on Friday (got off around 11:30pm I think) just wandering around town. Past old hang outs, and houses. I walked by nearly everyone's old house. I was thinking as I did so, "If I knocked on (friend)'s door right now, and told them how upset I was, what would they do?". I'd get parental restraints and whatnot, but I sincerely doubt any of them would have given a shit.

 

Whatever... This is just another one of those bouts of depression that come and go without anyone actually noticing I'd felt this way.

 

Bah.... as the title says. Don't worry about me! I'll be alright!

Katie